Las Vegas might be the city where “What Happens Here, Stays Here” reigns, but despite the scandalous catchphrase, Sin City actually has a bonafide legal system comprised of real-life laws and a police squad to enforce them. You don’t say! But do tourists know about this? Not really. How about pit bosses and casino mobsters? Yes. The LVPD? Not so much.
Thousands of tourists are arrested here every year. Most of these arrests are not OJ-holding-up-memorabilia-dealers-at-palace-station type arrests. That’s right, the vast majority of Las Vegas bookings are your garden variety dumb crimes and yes, alcohol is almost always involved.
So pay attention as we clue you into the 10 Surest Ways to Get Arrested in Vegas. Who knows, maybe this list will resonate with you the next time you are in Las Vegas at 3 AM and have had a bit too much to drink, not that it’s meant to be a checklist or anything.
1. Take a Dip on the Strip.
It goes without saying that while attending a Major League Baseball game you can’t run onto the field or you will get arrested — same rule applies in Vegas. Think of any of the Strip’s waterway attractions as your home field and stay off it. We know, we know, after a couple drinks and a little coaxing from your hen party you might be just about ready to make a splash. If you do, you will get arrested. Don’t believe us? We’ll let a Vegas drunk’s lips tell their tale:
It goes without saying that while attending a Major League Baseball game you can’t run onto the field or you will get arrested — same rule applies in Vegas. Think of any of the Strip’s waterway attractions as your home field and stay off it. We know, we know, after a couple drinks and a little coaxing from your hen party you might be just about ready to make a splash. If you do, you will get arrested. Don’t believe us? We’ll let a Vegas drunk’s lips tell their tale:
Okay, I once was “apprehended” when I went for a night swim at the Treasure Island moat. And yes I was drunk. I had a good lawyer, but for the record anytime you go for a swim on any of the Strip’s waterway structures is a sure way to land in the can.
2. Tell Dumb Jokes to the TSA
By now you should all know to just keep your mouth shut as you go through security. For God’s sake, don’t get tempted to utter “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” when TSA is asking you those routine questions. That is a sure-fire way to miss your flight and, yup, you guessed it, get yourself arrested if your joke is bad enough. Oh, and if you are going through customs, seriously, quit it with the jokes:
By now you should all know to just keep your mouth shut as you go through security. For God’s sake, don’t get tempted to utter “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” when TSA is asking you those routine questions. That is a sure-fire way to miss your flight and, yup, you guessed it, get yourself arrested if your joke is bad enough. Oh, and if you are going through customs, seriously, quit it with the jokes:
I return to Toronto. I arrive at the airport and have to check through Customs. The Customs agent looks up and down my form, which clearly indicates I made no purchases. She asks me if I have any purchases to declare. I say, “no.” She looks me in the eyes and asks again, “So you didn’t buy anything.” I replied, “What I bought in Vegas stayed in Vegas.”
Now, you see, that too was a mistake. I was just making a quick joke. the next twenty minutes were spent having to lay out my soiled underwear for examination. Joke wasn’t worth it. (Thankfully, there were no white socks….).
3. Use the iPhone Card Counter App
We confess. We think it’s totally cool that “there’s an app for that“—card counting that is. But while mental card-counting a la Rain Man is somewhat legal, using any electronic devices to help you count the cards is big-time illegal. You will get arrested and probably blacklisted from not only the casino you were caught card-counting at but several other casinos as well. Once you mess with one casino in Vegas, you pretty much are messing with all of them.
We confess. We think it’s totally cool that “there’s an app for that“—card counting that is. But while mental card-counting a la Rain Man is somewhat legal, using any electronic devices to help you count the cards is big-time illegal. You will get arrested and probably blacklisted from not only the casino you were caught card-counting at but several other casinos as well. Once you mess with one casino in Vegas, you pretty much are messing with all of them.
Speaking of cell phones, Las Vegas casinos have allowed them back into the Sports Books but it is illegal to take bets over your cell phone for other people.
4. Play VIP and Flee
If you and your buddies think the next step up from chew and screw is VIP and flee, then think again. Table service can run between $150-$500, ditto poolside cabanas. Sure you could try to bail, but most likely the folks who set you up with VIP service in the first place know the hotel you are staying at and your name. That is enough to get the police to come a knockin’ later on in the evening. If you are really unlucky, the VIP crew will forgo the cops and handle it in-house—by sending their biggest baddest bouncer after you.
If you and your buddies think the next step up from chew and screw is VIP and flee, then think again. Table service can run between $150-$500, ditto poolside cabanas. Sure you could try to bail, but most likely the folks who set you up with VIP service in the first place know the hotel you are staying at and your name. That is enough to get the police to come a knockin’ later on in the evening. If you are really unlucky, the VIP crew will forgo the cops and handle it in-house—by sending their biggest baddest bouncer after you.
5. Play Three Card Monte
Three Card Monte is a scam game with cards played on the street. Much like playing inside real casinos, you’ll never win. However, because this is an unauthorized street operation, the Las Vegas Police have been cracking down on these games. What’s that got to do with you? Well, because it’s illegal, you could wind up getting arrested too. Straight from The Law:
Three Card Monte is a scam game with cards played on the street. Much like playing inside real casinos, you’ll never win. However, because this is an unauthorized street operation, the Las Vegas Police have been cracking down on these games. What’s that got to do with you? Well, because it’s illegal, you could wind up getting arrested too. Straight from The Law:
There are “shills” (persons who appear to be playing and winning at the game are actually involved in the scam) who will entice you to play because they win so easily. Remember, they are in on the scam. If you play, you will become a victim and because it is illegal you may get arrested.
6. Expose Your Hole Card Scam
Say you are lucky enough to find your way to Vegas and you pick up a job as a blackjack dealer. After a couple months you are nonplussed by your take home pay and begin bitching to gamblers and fellow dealers alike. Somewhere along the way, someone will tell you “why not expose your hole card”; this is an act where the dealer discreetly shows his hole card to the player sitting at first or third base and later splits his or her winnings with the player.
Say you are lucky enough to find your way to Vegas and you pick up a job as a blackjack dealer. After a couple months you are nonplussed by your take home pay and begin bitching to gamblers and fellow dealers alike. Somewhere along the way, someone will tell you “why not expose your hole card”; this is an act where the dealer discreetly shows his hole card to the player sitting at first or third base and later splits his or her winnings with the player.
There is a fine line here between what is legal and illegal. If you happen to see the dealers hole card—legal advantage you, the gambler. If the dealer is suspected of intentionally showing the hole card to you—illegal activity. Of course, getting caught in the act of later splitting winnings really gives this little caper away.
Point is, if someone, dealer or otherwise, asks you if you want to do a little hole card spotting, just say no.
7. Drink and Drive
Common sense, right? However, if you are unlucky enough to be driving in Las Vegas there are definitely some things to keep in mind.
Common sense, right? However, if you are unlucky enough to be driving in Las Vegas there are definitely some things to keep in mind.
In Sin City, last call is never announced, meaning that some drinkers never get a late-night halt to their vice before they hit the road. Also, back in 2003 Nevada lowered legal blood alcohol limits to .08%. Furthermore, cops are all over the 15/215. Drinking and driving can always have fatal consequences, but when you are swerving on and around The Strip amongst hundreds of pedestrians, it is even easier than usual for your drunk driving to have fatal consequences.
8. Re-Enter The Casino After Getting Bounced
If you are drunk and acting outrageous in a casino you will a) be warned by a staffer b) be asked to leave and told that if you return you will be arrested for trespassing. Usually in that order. It is important to know that these hotel staffers are not lying, as they are telling you exactly what will happen and you might just be to drunk to listen. Case in point, another Vegas drunk:
If you are drunk and acting outrageous in a casino you will a) be warned by a staffer b) be asked to leave and told that if you return you will be arrested for trespassing. Usually in that order. It is important to know that these hotel staffers are not lying, as they are telling you exactly what will happen and you might just be to drunk to listen. Case in point, another Vegas drunk:
I got arrested for trespassing in Las Vegas. I was really drunk and I guess I was asked to leave the Venetian. I ended up coming back on the property and they took me to security and called Metro. They then released me with a trespassing ticket and no bail.
9. Work The Strip for Johns
Prostitution is, despite what many believe, illegal in Clark County, of which Las Vegas is a part. So ladies of the night looking for some easy work, take your services elsewhere. Otherwise, you could be rounded up in a sting and have your mugshot posted on the front page of the Review-Journal.
Prostitution is, despite what many believe, illegal in Clark County, of which Las Vegas is a part. So ladies of the night looking for some easy work, take your services elsewhere. Otherwise, you could be rounded up in a sting and have your mugshot posted on the front page of the Review-Journal.
10. Pick A Fight With a Bouncer
Yes, some of these bulky men guarding the door think they are way too powerful and more important than they really are. But unfortunately in Vegas, they wield a lot of clout with the law. All they have to do is say a tourist is drunk and belligerent and 5-0 will show up. Here’s how you should not pick a fight with a bouncer:
Yes, some of these bulky men guarding the door think they are way too powerful and more important than they really are. But unfortunately in Vegas, they wield a lot of clout with the law. All they have to do is say a tourist is drunk and belligerent and 5-0 will show up. Here’s how you should not pick a fight with a bouncer:
The setting was Wasted Space. At around 4am, we were leaving, my friend who tends to be a little belligerent when drunk, made a comment to a girl standing outside to the effect of, “Nice Ass!” Anyway, the bouncer must’ve known her, and got in my friend’s face. He then started talking shit to the bouncer, telling him that obviously that her ass wasn’t that nice, and it was clear she doesn’t go to the gym.
Anyway, before long, there was some pushing back and forth and then all of a sudden, a gaggle of bouncers were there and had him pinned down. Cops came, and were gonna take him off, but I spoke with them and told them he was trashed, and I’d take him to the room and put him to sleep. They let it go.
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